Dilo

The Sound of a Heart Breaking

It was 8:30 in the night. We were waiting anxiously. I asked the policeman on guard if Singapore Airlines flight had arrived yet, since it was reportedly going to land early. He said no. So i went back to Mohideen and said Im feeling oru maathiri. He said that he has been feeling that way since morning. And thats why he suggested we go to the beach instead of back to the house.

I went to the hospital the previous night. Never seen the father so down. He was sobbing like he already lost his daughter. But she was only in the ICU then, I thought. And this is Apollo, Chennai for heavens sake - these people know what they are doing - why does he have to lose hope too soon? I would find out why later. Manoj and I took some of their relatives to their home - Met Begam akka who was crying a lot - "...Jannath called last week and said she was bored and wanted to talk to me.....I said I was busy and will talk later - but now she is in the ICU....." I could empathize. This was a very closely knit family. Very attached to each other. It was clear that it was taking all their self control to keep from breaking into pieces.

I was going to get myself a haircut in the morning. Mohideen called and told me that Prasanna sounded down when describing Jannath's condition - "You know what the truth is - tell Noor that she is recovering though".

I called I called Sweety Aunty immediately - told her that doctors in Apollo seem to have said that the going will be difficult - is there anything she could do? Aunty said that it is a policy in Apollo that they dont allow outside doctors to see the patients. But she asked me to collect the doctors name and phone number so that she could talk to him offline and find out the status informally for us.

With the hope that I could make a change in the course of things here - but with a guilt that I should have done it the previous night, I called Noor's dad to get these details. Not a second to waste, I thought - but I was going to learn that we had wasted a few too many. I could feel the pain across the distance. His dad cried uncontrollably - "Jannath has left us all"...

Innalillahi wa Inna ilaihi Rajioon. From him we came and to Him we return.

When I came home and broke the news to my family, the jolt my mother gave did nothing to conceal her horror. Silence.

Picked up Manoj and went to Old Washermanpet - in Noor's words it is "Beyond Parrys.... [Parrys thaandi .... andha pakkam]"

The scene in his house carried an air of disbelief more than anything else. The unwillingness to give in and accept as fate the fact that a part of the home's heart was never to return.

As I had feared, Begam akka was beyond herself. She kept repeating the essense of the last conversation between the two - the one she regretfully turned down as she was busy. This beautiful girl - Jannath - who has been my sister as much as Noor's - who couldnt have meant harm to a soul on this earth - was in a glass box surrounded by mourning people. Possibly the only person who didnt know what was happening is umaira, who is hardly 3 or 4 - but Im sure she would come to learn of this incident one day in her life and agree with me - god can be cruel sometimes. But we never know His ways.

It had never looked like it would rain, but it did. We stood in the parking lot, drawing plans on how we would go about telling Noor. His dad had told us not to tell him till we reached home. But that would take enormous storytelling from our part. We knew we were not upto it. So we thought we will make a judgement call depending on the situation. We thought we will take him to the car, turn on the AC, let things cool down, and "tell him". He would have to learn sooner or later.

And the situation was something we could have never expected. Noor would have thought we were waiting outside, when in fact we had got tickets to enter the airport visitors lobby. He came with a speed that would have put the airliner to shame. Such was his anxiety and he didnt waste a moment in blasting out of the security check. He was apparently surprised to see all of us waiting to receive him. He had an air of a flight captain around him - so much confidence - he had come to see his little sister.

We took him to the car, turned on the AC and did not move the car in the pretext of letting the air cool off before we started. I waited for Mohideen to speak out and expected a lot of painful crying - but I was instructed to move. Noor asked how Jannath was. We said she is still in a critical condition but under control. "Hospital right?" We said no - it was decided to treat her from home and we are going home. He took the tablet he had told us from Singapore to bring for his headache. Poor guy had a transit of 6 hours in transit - I cant begin to imagine how he managed to stay sane and landed with just a headache.

We looked for opportunities. Selva and Mohideen with Noor between them, Manoj next to me in the front - when we thought aloud of stopping next to some shops to get biscuits, Noor was quick to retort - dont stop anywhere, go as fast as you can. Another chance lost. When....?

It was the longest drive of my life - even though I had just driven Fidha to Pondicherry and back the previous day. This was definitely longer - what with the defeaning silence. Odd topics plucked from the air to moot. Manoj would later say that this was the first time he had seen me drive so perfect - with the handbrakes on signals, the hazard signs, with the generous gestures of letting others go before ourselves.

We were 2 or 3 minutes away from his house. Started to go over the Mint bridge when I heard the all too evident sound of a heart broken to pieves - the breakdown of the poor fellow. Mohideen had just broken the news - even I couldnt hear it sitting in the drivers seat. Words wouldnt come out of his mouth - only sounds.

Crying uncontrollably, I could hear him ask himself how he was going to face his father. He had never seen him cry. He managed to articulate that he had bought a small television to beat his sister's loneliness in the hospital ICU. He had hopes.

I would learn from my father who met him the next day - that the doctors had told him that the chances of survival was only 20%. Pneumonia, of all things I would have expected to kill hopes of doctors!

The picture of the cloth shamiana in front of his house and the people gathered there did not help. He had to be pulled to help him get out of the car, and the home cried. The loss was unbearable.

Jannath was 19, and was doing her second year BA in SIET, Chennai. She will forever be remembered as the most loved girl in her family. Who would have been cared for by her family of two brothers and a sister, all older than her - and her parents - as a Princess.

May God forgive her sins and grant her a place in Jannah - Paradise. God bless her soul.

Naim.

posted by Chicken 65 @ 10:23 AM